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Sunday September 12, 1999 ~ Sixteenth Sunday after Pentecost
Sermon Text:  Matthew 18:21-35
Genesis 50:15-21   *  Romans 14:1-12 * Psalm 26:1-8

Forgiveness:  "Giving is Harder Than Receiving!"

Can you finish this saying for me?

"To err is human.  To forgive is ________.  (divine)"

There is another version of this saying I came across recently that rings a bell for me.  "To err is human.  To forgive is darned near impossible!"

During a discussion of the Lord's Prayer in a confirmation class, we got caught up for a time with the issue of forgiveness.  The problem was the line, "...and forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors."   More specifically the difficulty had to do with Jesus comment about the issue of forgiveness which follows the prayer in Matthew.  "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. [Mt. 6:14-15]

This made for a really interesting discussion with these younger adolescents who found things like, "Turn the other cheek,"  quite out of touch with their world.  Here's just a brief bit of the conversation between myself and a young lad.

***

"So...  if someone smacks me and then asks me to forgive him, I don't get to smack him back?" the boy asked and then added, "It doesn't seem right for someone to hit you and you don't get to hit them back."

"You mean," I answered, "If this kid hits you it's like you owe him a hit back."

"Yeah!"

"An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth."

"That sounds right," the lad says, "Then we're even.  That's more fair."

"Well," I reminded him, "Jesus said we have to forgive and not get even. What are we going to do about that?"

The kid thinks about it for a moment and then says, "How 'bout if I smack him and then forgive him?."

***

Forgiveness is indeed one of the difficult issues of the Christian life.  Frequently sermons and discussions of the issue leave more questions than they answer.  Yet, nowhere is our personal or corporate faith more seriously tested than with the issue of forgiveness. Without genuine, free flowing forgiveness, there can be no authentic Christian community.

Although we can not possibly say all there is to be said about forgiveness, we will try to come away today with a fresh understanding of the basics as we explore:  1. What Does Forgiveness Mean?  and secondly,  2. Why is Forgiveness So Important?

1. What Does Forgiveness Mean?

Literally, the word translated "forgive" means "to send away" or "to put away".  The sense in our scripture is that a debt owed is cancelled out.   (Sent away as though it didn't exist)  When a wrong is committed against someone, it creates a sense of "debt".   The young man in the confirmation class, thinking about someone hitting him thinks,  "I owe him!" (A smack)

In the Lord's Prayer, some churches use "trespass and trespasses" while others use "debts and debtors".   Trespass means to cross the line.  When I cross the line, I incur a penalty which is the "debt" owed.  In either case forgiveness applies.  It means to cancel the debt or the penalty.  Forgiveness clears the way for life apart from the debt.

In the parable Jesus told, the man who owed ten thousand talents was desperately without means to pay.  He asks for forbearance (meaning, he would pay in time) and receives forgiveness (meaning, the debt is canceled).   He and his family are freed from the consequences of living under the burden of his huge debt.

Forgiveness in Jesus' example is an economic issue, but it communicates powerfully.  If you have ever been on the receiving end of a cancelled debt, you know how emotional it can be.  When I was a young lad growing up in Northern Ontario during the second world war, things were tough for many families.   Our family was one of them.  My father was a mining engineer who had begun a geological company on his own.  He hit a tough time when there just wasn't enough to cover our needs.

The local grocery store allowed people to put their groceries "on the bill" until payday.  At a certain limit, however, the credit stopped.  I was in the store with my mom one day and as she brought her groceries to the counter, Mr. Paquette, the owner,  looked at her account and told her that there was no credit left.  We literally had almost nothing to eat in the house.  Mom stood there with tears in her eyes, quite embarrassed.  Even as a child, I could sense her humiliation.

Mr. Paquette took the slip of paper which was her "bill", tore it up and threw it in the wastebasket.  Then he took out a new slip and wrote down her purchases.   As we walked the pathway home, I pretended not to notice mom's tears.

Forgiveness means freedom from a debt owed.

Somebody, however does have to handle the debt.   The King in Jesus' story absorbs the loss.  Mr. Paquette actually paid for mom's grocery bill.  In ancient Israel it was the sacrificial system. The inability of God's people to keep the good commandments of God was a kind of an overdue bill.  "You owe me," the bill cries out.  But like mom at the grocery store, we stand before God without the resources to remove the debt.

We long for freedom from this spiritual kind of debt.  "Forgive us our debts..." we pray.  And like mom at the grocery store, we stand humbled that we (as Paul says) "have fallen short of the glory of God." 

And do you know what God does when we sincerely pray, "Forgive me my debts...   I can not pay...  I can not perform..."  God takes the "bill" and tears it up.  The cross of Christ looms large over all of Christendom as the debt that was cancelled.

Amazing.  Amazing grace, in fact!

2. Why is Forgiveness So Important?

The second part of Jesus' story in our scripture takes a surprising turn and has a shocking conclusion for the man whose huge debt had been forgiven. And...  there is a principle here that is woven throughout scripture.  When we become a "forgiven" person, we must become a "forgiving" person!

Our antihero --  the hugely forgiven man -- becomes the worst nightmare of a man who needs a little forgiveness.  The one who had been given a marvelous gift of debt free living now becomes the worst kind of collections officer.  "You owe me!" He screams at the frightened debtor, "Off to prison with you." The tables are quickly turned on him however, when the King hears what happened. 

The first reason forgiveness is so important is that forgiveness is the doorway to our relationship with God.  Wouldn't we be sunk if God were to say to us, "You owe me!"   It is only because of God's love for me and grace toward me that I can have a relationship with the Lord.  There is nothing in me that is so worthy that I could say to God, "You owe me your love."

The second reason forgiveness is so important is that the practice of forgiveness by Christians towards each other is evidence of the reality of Christ's love to the world.  That's a mouthful, but it is crucial.   When Jesus spent those last hours with his disciples in the Upper Room, he enjoined them over and over...  "Love each other -- the way I have loved you."   He told them that the world would know they belonged to him IF they had this love for each other.

The love of Christ is accepting, forgiving, unconditional love.  When we receive it, we can then give it. In fact it's not an option. "Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." [Colossians 3:13] An unforgiving heart is a barrier to the free flow of the love of God in our lives and a fatal hindrance to our witness as a church.

To gain forgiveness, we must ask for it, to keep it we must give it!

The third reason forgiveness is so important is that an unforgiving spirit is one of the most deadly enemies of emotional spiritual health there is -- and there is increasing medical evidence that it is destructive of physical well being.

When we hang on to resentment and bitterness and refuse to forgive, we do nothing to the one who has wronged us -- we are punishing ourselves with increased blood pressure, chronic tension and stomach acid!  We dig a deeper pit of victimization.

But forgiveness is no easy thing to give.   It can be a painful road, but it does lead to freedom.

Marietta Jaeger is mother of a kidnapped and murdered child.  Her story has been told on the Discovery Channel in the documentary, "From Fury to Forgiveness."   After a struggle with incredible grief, anger and hatred toward the man who killed her daughter, she faced down the pain and became the founder of Murder Victim's Families for Reconciliation.  She now builds her programs to help others with the principles of forgiveness.  In the documentary she said, "I knew that forgiveness would honor the life and love of my lost child.  That's why I now work on forgiveness and reconciliation."

Believe it or not -- there is now an organization called the International Forgiveness Institute. ¹ perhaps we have not sufficiently developed forgiveness teaching in the church, but Jesus taught the principles of forgiveness that can set us free long ago.

In the parable Jesus told, the King delivers the unforgiving man to be tortured until his debt could be paid.  As harsh as that may seem, the fact is that when we are unable -- or better yet -- unwilling to forgive, we actually deliver ourselves to be tortured.

The art of forgiveness can transform our lives and our churches.  Though it may be a long and painful  journey to become proficient at this art -- the basics are not difficult.

"... just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."

***

¹  See their web site at www.forgiveness-institute.org  There is a lot of good material on the site and information about the organization which is based in Madison, WI.

Discussion and Reflection on the Texts

Connections in the Texts

A theme that runs through all of our texts is actually a question.  "How am I to treat others?"  In Matthew it is:  "I am to forgive as I have been forgiven."   Paul says to the Romans, "Whatever religious scruples you may have -- don't judge your fellow Christians based on your practices -- let everything we do be directed at pleasing God, not each other."  With the Genesis story of Joseph and his brothers, it is the issue of forgiveness.  Joseph's brothers (who have treated him abominably) come with a made-up story of how it was that Jacob had this dying wish that Joseph would forgive his brothers.  Wonderfully, Joseph acts out of his inner spiritual core and has no desire for retribution.  He models forgiveness.

There is one line in the Genesis passage that really must be lifted up.  When Joseph's brothers fall down before him in repentance and shame, Joseph says, "Am I in the place of God?"   What a wonderful phrase to keep in mind whenever we are tempted to judge another!

Matthew 18:21-35

The NRSV translates "If my brother sins against me" as -- "If another member of the church..."   Indeed the term is "adelphos" or brother.  "Member of the church" is not a good translation in light of the fact that ["church - ekklessia"] is used only twice in the gospels and only in Matthew.  (See notes from last week for detail)

The issue of seventy seven times is not a numerical formula, but a principle.  Forgiveness is not to be measured at all.  In the same way that God's forgiveness toward us is beyond anything we could ever ask for or deserve -- so also, the forgiveness of Christian folk for each other is to be without limits.  Nothing else is a testimony of the Divine love!  Forgiveness can not be quantified.  It is a river that flowes continuously, not a well that can run dry.

The amount owed by the first servant is overwhelming.  Ten thousand talents of gold is more than King David of Israel donated toward the building of the temple. (Five thousand talents of gold..   over 100 tons -- 1 Chron. 29:4)  There is no possible way this servant could ever pay the debt.)  The idea, of course is that no one could ever live a life worthy of God's everlasting love.  We can hardly get through the day without falling short of everything God would have us be.  The debt would be impossible and nothing but the divine intervention brought about by the life, ministry, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

The shock of the story here is that the second servant's debt is absolutely miniscule in contemporary terms.  It would have been maybe 100 days wages for a vineyard worker.  It is as though Bill Gates of Microsoft fame took one of the custodians in his empire to court for a ten dollar debt!

God will look intently at our "forgiveness quotient" if we do not forgive our brother or sister from our heart.  I.E.  we need to mean it.   Problem:  How do we gain such a heart?  Check Romans 5:5:  "...God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us."

Illustration:  If you haven't already used this, it's a great story about lack of forgiveness.

A husband and wife who were seeing a counselor came to a session after the woman said she was going to forgive her husband for his inattentiveness.  During the session when she was scolding her husband for a past insensitivity, the counselor said, "But I thought you forgave him for that."

She replied, "I did forgive him.  But I reserve the right to refer to the matter now and then!"

 

Genesis 50:15-21

This passage contains an absolutely wonderful statement about the providence of God.  It is a great example of the truth of Paul's statement that "all things work together for good..." [Rom. 8:28]

When everything seemed to be coming apart for Joseph's brothers -- (who deserved it) -- Joseph utters these marvelous words, "Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good..."  The amazing part of this story is that Joseph had a genuine, authentic love for his brothers and his family that transcended the evil they accomplished toward him.  This is a powerful story!  It may have some redeeming, conciliatory power for some of our contemporary families.  It is a story of trusting God.

This passage is once again an illustration of how the Old Testament has amazing stories of love and grace which can sometimes get lost in the misperception that the O.T. is a book of war and an unloving God.  It begs exposition!

Worship Helps

A Call To Worship  

Give us courage, Lord, that we might search the deepest and darkest corners of our being for anything that offends your holy name. Give us mercy that we might stand in the brilliance of your light. Give us grace that we might go from this assembly cleansed from our sin and refreshed for your service. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.