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ILLUSTRATION DATABASE

Money

New Approach to Robbery
A figure emerged from a dark alley and said, "Please stop." The man who was walking did stop and nervously replied, "What do you want?" The man from the alley gently responded, "Please, sir, I wish you would be so kind as to help me. I'm a poor, unfortunate fellow, hungry and out of work. All I have in the world is this gun."

If I Were a Rich Person

The wealthiest 1% of families in America (about 1 million households) have incomes of at least $250,000 and / or net worth of at least $2.5 million. Here's what they say they would pay for: (1) A place in Heaven: $640,000 (2) True Love: $487,000 (3) Great Intellect: $407,000 (4) Talent: $285,000 (5) Great Beauty:$83,000 (6) Being President: $55,000 [USA Today Poll]

How About Paying Murderers To Quit Murdering?

A proposed national tobacco lawsuit settlement would pay growers $28.5 billion compensation for reduced demand, but allow them to continue farming, under legislation introduced by tobacco-state senators. "It's time to move our tobacco farmers to the front of the line," said Sen. Wendell Ford of Kentucky. [USA Today 10/26/98]

Let's see... How far would $28.5 billion go toward paying murderers to not murder people? Say you could give each murderer $100,000 not to refrain from ever killing someone, how many lives could be saved? Just a thought.

Who’s Rich and Who’s Poor?

A December 1997 listing of the 40 top paid sports figures in the nation shows how relative the idea of adequate pay is. Michael Jordan tops the list with an annual total of 78.3 million a year including endorsements. Tiger Woods, barely out of his teens comes in sixth with an annual 26.1 million. Brett Favre of the Green Bay Packers is the absolute pauper of the list with a mere 9.2 million!

No Amount of Money

A CBS 60 Minutes episode on Jan. 8, 1998 focused on some people who had won the lottery and become millionaires. One young couple had won millions of dollars, but had also lost their three year old daughter to a critical illness. Dan Rather suggested, "No amount of money could make up for the loss of your daughter..." The young man replied, "I'd rather be poor!" Shouldn't we stop and think?

Who To Call On

Comedian Richard Pryor, critically burned in an accident, told Johnny Carson that when you're seriously ill, money isn't important. He said, "All I could think of was to call on God. I didn't call on Bank of America once." [Quotations for all Seasons]

The Root of All Evil

Michael and Phyllis Klingabell are mother and son. For 10 years they have put 20 dollars each per month into the New Jersey lottery. Their ship finally came in. They won 2.7 million dollars! Michael was the one who held the tickets. He called his mother very excited. "Mom! We won!" He told his mother he would come to see her the next day. However, he never showed up. They have been estranged ever since. The New Jersey courts will now decide whether Michael's mother should share in the winnings!

It is not money that is the problem. Rather, as the Bible says, it is the love of money that is the root of all evil. For Michael, his love of money is apparently stronger than his love for a mother.

Money and Memory
"Every time you lend money to a friend, you damage his memory." [Mark Twain]

IRS BLOOPER STARTLES A PENNSYLVANIA TAXPAYER.
This will fit in with the Luke pericope of the dishonest manager. If you think the manager's clients thought they owed too much money, how about this?

The woman, who lives in Wynnewood, Pa., asked the IRS earlier this year how much she owed for a prior year. She thought she owed about $1,500. Instead, the IRS replied: "Our records show the balance due on your account is $40,000,001,541.13 [40 billion!!] " That figure "includes penalty and/or interest" as of April 8. The taxpayer called the IRS and spoke to a "quite nice" woman who said "we never make mistakes like that" because such documents are carefully reviewed by several people.

But the IRS employee, after checking her records, confirmed it was indeed a blooper. Later, the agency sent a corrected notice, saying the taxpayer owes only about $1,500, but with no acknowledgment of the earlier, mistaken letter and no apology. The taxpayer asks that her name not be used "for fear of harassment and repercussions." An IRS official in Washington says, "We should have apologized, absolutely, and we do apologize." He says there was "a handful" of similar goofs around the nation caused by a "programming error." [WSJ, 5/13/98]

How Much Will People Spend on Cigarettes?
I can remember cigarettes going from 25 to 30 cents a pack.  "If these things ever go past 50 cents, I'm quitting. (They wen't to about $1.50 before I quit.

So I got the shock of my life a few days after the cigarette industry agreed to a multi-billion dollar settlement with the states.  A sign on the counter asked customers not to blame the sales associates for the high price of cigarettes with the new tax.  "How much are they now?", I asked.

"$3.65," the clerk answered, "And there's another increase coming. Then they will be just over four dollars a pack."

This means two pack a day smokers will be paying just about $3000 a year for their smokes!

How's that for a discussion starter of priorities, or the power of addiction or funding of missions!

For Real?
Yogi Berra, former New York Yankees catcher was asked what he would do if he found a million dollars. "I'd see if I could find the guy that lost it, and if he was poor, I'd give it back."  [ Modern Maturty - Nov.-Dec. 1998]